Self Isolating with an Abuser

In order to protect our community from the spread of the new virus COVID-19, health officials have recommended practicing social distancing, or avoiding close contact with others. This nationwide effort means many events and travel plans have been canceled, people may be working or taking classes from home, and in-person visits with loved ones in high risk categories - such as someone over the age of 60 or who has an underlying health issue - are being minimized.

For survivors of domestic violence who are still experiencing abuse, practicing social distancing may mean spending more time alone with their abuser, putting them at greater risk of violence.  Below are some resources to keep survivors safe during this time of uncertainty.

Safety Plan

To work with an advocate to create a personalized safety plan, give us a call at 865-521-6336. Here is a general plan that might help.​

1. Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and there are ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move to those areas.
2. Don’t run to where the children are, as your partner may hurt them as well.
3. If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and arms around each side of your head, fingers entwined.
4. If possible, have a phone accessible at all times and know what numbers to call for help. Know the phone number to your local shelter. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
5. Let trusted friends and neighbors know of your situation and develop a plan and visual signal for when you need help.
6. Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner. Plan a code word to signal to them that they should get help or leave the house.
7. Tell your children that violence is never right, even when someone they love is being violent. Tell them that neither you, nor they, are at fault or are the cause of the violence, and that when anyone is being violent, it is important to stay safe.
8. Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children.
9. Plan for what you will do if your children tells your partner of your plan or if your partner otherwise finds out about your plan.
10. Keep weapons like guns and knives locked away and as inaccessible as possible.
11. Make a habit of parking where you can't be blocked in, back your car into the driveway, and keep it fueled. Keep the driver’s door unlocked and others locked for a quick escape.
12. Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry that could be used to strangle you.
13. Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day or night.​​​​​

Things you can still do

1. Phone calls or video chats with friends. Keeping in touch with friends is good for your emotional health, and will also help normalize phone calls in case you need to call for help.
2. Errands like grocery shopping, picking up medications, doctor's appointments, etc. Be sure to practice good hand washing before and after touching common surfaces.
3. Go outside. Whether in your yard, on a walking trail, or at a park, exercise and sunshine are good for your health. Just keep a six foot distance from others you might pass.
4. Find a project to keep yourself busy at home. Clean out a closet, organize your garage, find something that will take time away from interacting with your abuser.
5. Get help. If you are thinking of getting domestic violence help but are reluctant because of fears of sharing space with strangers, know that organizations have emergency protocols in place to ensure the safety of clients and residents. Don't delay.

Important Numbers and resources

• The Family Justice Center - 521-6336. We can help create a personalized safety plan, provide emergency assistance, and connect you with a victim advocate and local resources.
• 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• Domestic Violence Online Chat: https://www.thehotline.org/help/
  
• Domestic Violence Shelters
  
  • Helen Ross McNabb Family Crisis Center: 865-637-8000
  • Salvation Army: 865-525-9401
• Emergency Assistance with housing and utilities, employment, medical expenses, and more: http://tn211.mycommunitypt.com/